If I die, Open it
by SasuNaru Fangirl Seme
Summary: OneShot. SasuNaru. Non-Graphic Lemon. Sasuke knew he was going to die, so he decided to leave Naruto with the best memories he could.


I decided to break on all of my stories and write a one-shot. I really love the way it turned out, (I love cheesy romantic crap to death,) so I hope you do too.

One-shot. SasuNaru. Warnings: Non-Graphic Lemon. Sappy. Mostly Sasuke Centric, Naruto-centric in some places. As predictable as the "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants" Movies. OOC for in story reasons.

Disclaimer: Naruto and all of it's components belong to Kishimoto. Not me. Why?!

A Doujinshi that I read a long time ago and can no longer find contributed to the idea of this fan fiction. Credit goes to the Doujinshi circle for some of the idea.

Reviwers get cookies :D

* * *

Inky, blue-black hair hung in nonworking coal eyes, blocking his frontal vision so he could only see the smooth, cherry oak desk his chair was at, and the blank writing scroll that rested on it.

_Wanting_ to go on the mission Sasuke had just been assigned would be like a death wish. He knew he was a prodigy, but there were certainly other talented ninja who had been sent before him. They had all died, so why wouldn't he? Now he was being called to this S-rank. Maybe he was delusional, but the village must have been slowly killing off the Black Ops. By means of this task. He was sure he was a last resort, because he was a former missing ninja, and his rank was only as high as it was due to the village's craving for the last Uchiha's power.

Now, assuming he would die, Sasuke had to think of everything he would lose, and everything he had to do before he kicked the bucket. Since his older brother was six feet under, he had only one thing keeping him alive, and keeping his purpose. There was Sakura, his beloved teammate, and Kakashi, his - by force of habit - 'Sensei,' and all of his memories and glory, but they weren't keeping him breathing. No, he was sure he would be in the same hell with his brother had it not been for one other thing. One other person.

Naruto Uzumaki.

Sasuke would never admit it before, but he could tell anyone in the world now, honestly and openly and without hesitation, that he was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with the blonde. He was sure that it was fate, and that it had been decided at the moment he met him, because he always felt drawn to the boy, no matter what emotion was there.

Naruto knew this, too. It was the very first thing he had told him when he was conscious after his battle. Naruto was sitting, quietly for once, by his hospital bedside. The Uchiha could sense his anger and resentment, since he had done so many horrible things to him, but he could also see the relief and affection in the blonde's eyes. It was a toss up, he had decided, and the words simply came. They were easy and to the point, and as basic and literal as he could get.

__

"Naruto, I love you."

Thousands of emotions had run through the blondes features in such a short moment that Sasuke had no chance at deciphering them all. The emotion that stuck near the end revealed his sapphire blue eyes wide, and his lip bit and quivering.

_"You should leave."_

But the Jinchuruki didn't leave. He had instead leaned forward - and carefully so as not to injure the Uchiha further, rested his head on his chest, upper arms as well.

_"I know."_

From there on and very quickly, their relationship became stronger and stronger, and unbreakable. They worked back into old ways and old habits, and their personalities reverted back to normal. But there was something new now, intimacy, and the fact that they would admit the thing they felt for each other was love.

Pulling himself out of his revive, Sasuke focused on the situation at hand.

Naruto was the embodiment of perfection, at least in his eyes. He had been called 'perfect' by many people before, but he had mistakes, he had a cold, lifeless personality, and he had killed people with his own hands for personal reasons.

This was when he stood up, and he could see something besides the reddish brown wood and off-white scroll. He breezed by the fireplace, parallel to him, crackling and burning like it knew he was going to die, too. He reached his dresser - made of the same wood - and carefully picked up a well of black ink, the drips staining his fingers to be a color similar to his raven hair.

He sat back down at his, desk, urgently now, but kept his blank face, like someone was watching him, and he had to keep it up just like he would in public.

Sasuke was afraid. Not afraid of dying, no. He had been there plenty of times, and he was sure that he had been dead for at least a few moments while the Hokage worked her medical magic on his bloody body - the aftermath of the fight with his sibling.

He was afraid of leaving Naruto. He was afraid to leave Naruto alone, and afraid of spending his eternal damnation without him, for he knew they weren't going to the same place when their lives ended.

The Uchiha steadied his shaking arm, hand and fingers, and lifted a calligraphy bush from the desk. He thoroughly coated the hairs of the brush in black ink, and wrote.

He was confident after only the first sentence. He thought only of the blonde, and how much and what he loved about him. That and keeping his hand moving and handwriting legible. He listed in full detail every reason he loved the blonde. Every little quirk and charm Naruto had about him was mentioned and admired in the scroll. No physical detail was left out, either. He told Naruto how he was sure now that he had always loved him, and that he had been in some kind of unknowing denial. He wrote about how they had a bond even stronger, and beyond love, like a bond of destiny that would have kept them as close as they were, even if they were enemies, or relatives. He asked the blonde to forgive him for everything he had done to him, and he was specific about each thing, leaving the most explaining and self blame to things like leaving the village, and trying to kill him. He made Naruto promise that he would make his dream come true, the dream to rule the village and be noticed. To stop all of the hatred and judgment from other people, and to never worry about what others thought anyway. He added trivial things, like take care of Sakura, Iruka, and the village.

Sasuke's hand, which could have been on fire, stopped with his mind. He had no closing. No way to end the scroll's message. He sat there for awhile, his unclothed ankles feeling the heat radiating from the fire, and his ears 'hearing' the dead silence - with the exception of the fire popping.

Finally, he left it as it was. No closing came to mind, so naturally, it didn't need a closing.

Sasuke had been alone all day, so the sound of the glass door sliding open at the bottom of the stairs started him a bit. He quickly rolled up the scroll, tied it shut, and shoved it into the drawer at his desk.

Then, for the first time in what seemed to be his lifetime, but surely wasn't, he barely avoided having tears well up in his dark eyes.

"I'm back, Teme!"

* * *

His self control lasted through the rest of the evening. He only managed to keep it that way with many distractions, like not looking directly at his love in front of him for long, and breathing out and sighing more, for fear of hyperventilating. Naruto had been on a mission, a boring one- he had claimed. Sasuke had tried hard to listen to Naruto talk about his day, but he couldn't respond to anything, afraid that one wrong wording would remind him of what he wasn't telling the blonde. Naruto didn't appear to be catching on, either. At that time, he had been his usual pepped, talkative, confident, Naruto-self.

Then, just barely, he had managed, "I have a big mission, starting tomorrow. I need to get to sleep early." But shuteye wasn't his reason for wanting to end dinner and the night's activities.

Somewhere in his heart he knew it was vain. But when one was certain they were going to die, was it so wrong to want to spend every second - and feel every _inch_ - with and of the person you loved more than the world, and your own life on top of that?

Naruto was suspicious now, for Sasuke rarely got more than three or four hours of sleep anyway. Besides that, he was paying attention, and he wasn't acting like himself at all. He was shaking slightly, and he was concentrating too hard on things. He was normally so calm, blank and relaxed - if not sarcastic - that now it made Naruto feel and act uneasy as well. Then, only a few moment's after it was said, Naruto felt like an even bigger moron for not understanding Sasuke's real intention in the first place.

But it wasn't like _that_ was something they did very often.

"Then I'll go take a shower." Naruto had stuttered. He didn't want to seem to obvious in hiding the fact he had caught on.

Now Sasuke was sitting at the foot of his bed, the one they shared, in the same position he had been while he sat at the desk, only now it was dim, and the fire was doused. The room was different shades of grey black and white, leeched of color from the night. His shirt was absent, but that was a given because he always slept that way, nothing too obvious. He was listening to the water running outside of the room, waiting for the moment when it would shut off and his waiting would be over. He gazed towards the cherry oak desk against the wall, and the drawer that contained his scroll. Pain racked his body at the simple sight of the wood. Tonight and tomorrow's early morning would be the last of the time he had to spend with the blonde. If only he could have been warned of his death sooner.

Sasuke sat up and could see more than his lap when the water stopped it's flow. But he still had to wait some odd more antagonizing minutes for Naruto to towel dry his hair, brush his teeth and mentally ready himself.

Naruto stood in the Uchiha's bathroom, which was lit - unlike Sasuke's room - and magnificent to match the rest of his home. He was looking at himself in the mirror, wrapped up in jet black towel. His reflection made him wonder why Sasuke found him attractive, but everyone was a critic to their own body. He had already towel dried his hair and brushed his teeth, something anyone would do right before what he was about to experience. He was still standing there because he was faced with an issue. He felt like he was in a bad romance novel, standing in Sasuke's bathroom and feeling nervousabout what he would walk out to. This certainly wasn't the first time, but he still wondered how he managed to erase his fear and do it then. But now, it wasn't a matter of fearing _what _happened. He knew well what sex entailed - he had had a little more than two years of practice - it was _why _it was happening this way.

The first issue was Sasuke's attitude. He knew something was horribly wrong, but he had no idea what. He wasn't his calm, relaxed, sarcastic self, and that _never_ happened. That, and he had _said_ something about it. If they ever did this, it just happened. Just started, with simple kisses gone too deep. Now it was something personal, and Sasuke needed this for some reason. What reason, was what Naruto wondered. That worried him. After a short, quick pondering - knowing the Uchiha was waiting for him - Naruto proposed that whatever was wrong, Sasuke must have thought this could fix it, or at least soothe it. Besides that, no matter how awkward, who was he to deny the opportunity?

Slow and slightly clumsy foot-steps filled Sasuke's patient ears. He turned his head a fraction of in an inch, concentrating on Naruto and not the desk that was in the same direction. He was missing a shirt, too. Nothing obvious, he thought, but it was still a beautiful sight, contrary to what anyone else believed. The bed stirred when the blonde dropped to a sit beside Sasuke. Sasuke knew he sensed something was wrong. He had wanted so much for him not to catch on to anything, so he would be one hundred percent himself in the end. He had a feeling there would be no convincing the blonde into believing there wasn't something going on.

But Naruto didn't ask. In the awkward, unmoving silence, he slowly pressed his head against the Uchiha's neck, causing him to turn and level his chin with the other's forehead. "I know you." Naruto murmured. "This isn't about sleep." But his voice wasn't bright and mocking. It was husky.

"No," Until now, Sasuke had never had to concentrate on keeping his speech from breaking. He just had to hold out for a few more moments…and his voice wouldn't be needed. He could forget everything about tomorrow, and the mission, and the fear, and be caught up in Naruto. Just Naruto.

Automatically, both of their bodies, which had originally been facing forward, turned towards each other to match the direction of their faces. Naruto pulled away slightly, so their mouths were parallel, and his arms and hands followed a familiar path up the Uchiha's spine, neck, and into his glossy black hair to tangle. Meanwhile, said Uchiha was gripping the blondes hips hard enough to leave bruises, but neither of them were fazed. Their separate breathing was close and mingled to the point of nearly being one substance. Then slowly - almost tentatively - Naruto barely touched his mouth to the other's, and with one last painful realization, Sasuke lost all chances at coherent thought, pressing hard enough to get Naruto on his back.

_Last time._

* * *

Naruto woke up, and he ultimately wasn't in the same position he had fallen asleep in. He wasn't lying against Sasuke's skin anymore, and much less - he swallowed - Sasuke was no longer _inside_ of him. He involuntarily curled back up in his sheets at the memory of what had happened the night before. He had remembered wanting to touch - and taste - every bit of flesh he could get to, and Sasuke in turn wanting the same, both being more vocal than usual. However, he had been so caught up, he didn't have much idea of exactly what had happened, but he had the memories of every sensation, and that was just as good as a visual.

The Uchiha was missing completely. He sat up and surveyed his the room. It was still a blue-black shade outside, and his thoughts were clarified when the blinking red numbers beside him read 5:45 AM. Too early. But Sasuke was gone, and his mission - which, to Naruto's surprise, wasn't just a sex excuse - must have been sooner than he thought. He pulled on new clothes and avoided another shower, despite his need for one, hoping to catch Sasuke before he left.

But as he trudged down the stairs, he didn't hear the usual packing sounds and rushing that were so familiar to him when Sasuke had a mission. It was completely still and silent, and the lights in the house were still all off. All but the one at the bottom of the stairs that revealed Sasuke leaning against the doorway, clad in his ANBU uniform, with a silver backpack -probably containing his mask, among other things - and a scroll that stood out, clenched in hand. He hadn't bothered to look at the Uchiha's pained expression, and slammed into him without warning. This hurt him worse, but not physically. Slowly and with much less enthusiasm, he returned the sudden hug.

What could you think about when your death was impending? Naruto was taking up all of the doomed Uchiha's head, but no other thoughts were sharing that space. What if you thought of one thing, and later regretted it because you didn't save that time to think of some other thing? Sasuke decided to focus on Naruto and nothing else, except for - He clenched the neat roll in his hand.

"You were going to leave without saying anything!" Naruto was still oblivious, but that made Sasuke a bit happier. He had forgotten. Though this time, he didn't try to normalize his broken tone.

"No. I didn't want to wake you up." It was barely more than a whisper, and if Naruto hadn't know that the Uchiha never cried, he would have thought so now. "I decided to wait. I heard you upstairs."

Naruto pushed Sasuke away to get a better look at his face, and he comprehended. He remembered his confusion from the night before about Sasuke's attitude. Now he had to ask.

"Wha-" But Sasuke's hand slid over his mouth. He squeezed the blonde's hand, uncurled it's fingers, passed him the scroll, and gently re-curled his fingers around the object. When Sasuke let go, Naruto remained silent, clenching and unclenching the paper wrapped wood.

"If I die, open it." Sasuke whispered.

The Jinchuruki stood still, confused, as Sasuke disappeared from the house, just as quickly as the note had been passed. He had not caught the Uchiha's tearless sob.

* * *

Naruto wasn't as much of an idiot as anyone else took him for. He was sure that was why Sasuke had been so vague. He had figured the rest of it out within the hour. Now, five entirely sleepless nights later, Naruto sat at their kitchen table, with a roaring fire built in the fireplace beside him, his head down and wrapped up in his arms. Maybe Sasuke's mission would have taken longer than this anyway, but Naruto's hope had disappeared. He assumed someone would be coming to tell him what had happened to him. How he had died. His Sasuke. Dead. The flames snapped at his thoughts.

Without moving his head, he barely moved one arm to view the scroll next to him on the wood, and clenched it, harsher than before in his fingertips. He still hadn't read it, but knew to some degree it's contents.

He had gone on _the _mission. Naruto wasn't aloud to know what the mission involved, he only knew of it's consequences. He had lost some of his friends on the Black Ops. To it. He knew how everyone that had been sent so far had been slaughtered. Most importantly, he knew the love of his life had been sent to die like the rest, and he could do nothing but sit and wait for a funeral.

Barely noticed tears ran down the blonde's cheeks like they had all the night's before, and pooled on the cherry oak wood to match everything else in the house. The first night, he had considered going after him. Mentally blinded by his fear, Naruto had wondered why Sasuke hadn't refused the mission.

Only on the second night did he remember that refusing a mission would mean being kicked out of your ranks - if you were lucky. But if Sasuke was so sure he was going to lose like everyone else, why hadn't he risked his rank and accepted the punishment?

Naruto understood why on the third night. _He_ wouldn't have refused. _He_ would have served his village, and taken the mission no matter what happened to him. Pride had swelled up and nearly consumed him when he realized Sasuke had felt the same. Naruto wouldn't have been able to stop him. He was willing to die, just like any other worthy ninja. But it hurt them both even more to have to lose each other, for not many others had a bond as strong as theirs.

The fourth night had Naruto upset and angry again. He was just as highly ranked as Sasuke was, so why wasn't he sent? Although he knew nothing about the mission, the fox in his belly was still a factor. Kyubbi could have healed him, he could have lived. He could have somehow pulled through in a way Sasuke couldn't. If the mission was successful, Sasuke and he both would be alive and happy.

If nothing else, he thought vainly, he wouldn't have to deal with the pain of losing Sasuke. Sasuke would have to deal with the pain of losing him. He would have died before he let Sasuke die in his place.

Now, on the fifth night, he had lost all of his hope and could do nothing but cry and survive until word was brought back that Sasuke had passed. He waited, his head pressed against the table for hours and hours on end until someone would come and tell him.

It was four in the morning when he was aware he wasn't alone. This only made him burry his head deeper into his arms and try to lose focus on the presence. Slow, quiet footsteps got louder and louder in his barely aware ears, along with a nearly silent fire, unlike the one he remembered from earlier.

But the intruder didn't touch his shoulders in a comforting way like Sakura or Iruka would have, and no one called his name to get his attention like Tsunade or Kakashi or someone else would have. Instead, he felt someone gently moved his limbs out of the way and stroke one cheek. He squeezed the scroll harder and clenched his eyes tighter. He was either dreaming, or he hadn't realized he had committed suicide at the last minute.

With a slight, calm impatience, the person lifted his chin up, and he involuntarily opened his eyes.

Then he shut them and opened again.

And again.

One more time.

He reached out to touch the handsome face in front of him with his free hand, to make sure he wasn't seeing things. The skin was smooth and cool and undoubtedly real. So was his smile and hysterical, relieved black eyes that were on the verge of spilling over. Then he moved the same hand up into raven bangs and beyond into spiky hair.

"Am I dead?" Naruto gaped at the beautiful face. "Asleep?"

"I wonder." His voice was deep, smooth, brooding and just a little sarcastic. Perfect.

Naruto took it in for just a few more moments. He stood staring, unable to move, let alone take his hands off the Uchiha's face. Then, all in one fluid movement, Naruto tossed the scroll behind him and into the flames, then nearly knocked Sasuke over with the force of his embrace. "You bastard!" But he was happy, happier than he had ever been in his entire life.

"Hmph, Dobe."

The paper started the quiet fire back up. The flames got higher, the ink melted and the parchment turned to ash. It was no longer needed. Both of them knew what the other meant to them, and Naruto was in no need of knowing what was on Sasuke's message.

Because Sasuke was here, alive, in his arms, and he had the rest of their lifetimes to show him what was on the scroll.

* * *


End file.
